Why is it so damn hard to write about myself?
Probably because I care too much what you think.
I’ve been writing stories since I can remember. In elementary school, my favorite assignment was always the writing prompt. When the teacher would put up the wacky hand-drawn transparency on the projector, my little mind would wander into all the different stories that could come out of one simple drawing.
Stories — and more importantly — storytelling has always interested me. Sometimes to a fault, as a memoirist and essayist, I’m regularly searching for the arc in my life that is…
The other night, I woke up at 2:00 am with a racing heart. The more I worried about not sleeping, the less I slept. But when I reminded myself that I am my own boss, my anxiety melted away. I had control over my tomorrow.
In December of 2020, I decided that I was not going back to full-time employment. I was slated to go back to work as Head of Marketing for a local Austin event venue the week of Thanksgiving. For those of us at the company, who weren’t laid off, our hours were drastically reduced to cut…
In 2010, my ex hit me for finding a naked picture of a 14-year-old girl on his phone. We were 20.
Girls everywhere who’ve suffered from undeniable heartbreak have all heard the saying: kiss a few frogs before we meet our prince. As if the answer to finding true love is in the process of failing and being heartbroken over and over and over again. But the frogs can be our best teachers. My particular frog was so bad that I never invested in any more frogs. …
I didn’t know what ableism meant at nine-years-old. Admittedly, I still wasn’t aware of the word at thirty. Ableism. A word for the discrimination that favors able-bodied people over disabled bodies. I didn’t know there was a word for it, but I knew it existed because of Aunt Linda.
Aunt Linda has suffered from hip dysplasia her entire life. This is a condition in which the hip joints become partially or completely dislocated. All three of my grandmother’s daughters — my mother included — have suffered from varying levels of hip problems. But none had it worse than Aunt Linda.
…
Before I got pregnant, I was on a journey to be the healthiest version of myself. Prior to this journey, I had been on a full spectrum of diets. WeightWatchers. Noom. Low-Carb. High Carb. Low Fat. High Fat. No meat. Only Fish. It was exhausting, and when I was dieting, I never really felt free; it was never sustainable. I constantly felt like I was trying to escape the body that I had always known. Before my journey of self-love, I never really understood how to love and appreciate my body.
I learned to diet around the age of eight…
All so true. As a white women who recently left the nonprofit sector, I've seen white, male CEOs push back on equity and diversity conversations. One time, a CEO said I was "trying to march the black panthers through our organization." I simply wanted to replace the word opportunity with equity. But this would have rocked the boat too much of our rich, white, donor base. If we can't even name it, we can't solve it.
I live in Austin, Texas. One of the many Texas cities that was severely affected by the multiple winter storms that expectedly hit our state.
My family was one of the lucky ones. We never lost power. Our water pressure decreased, and we had a boil-water notice for days. This was all a slight inconvenience compared to almost everyone I knew in our area. …
Often, people who are victims of gaslighting don’t realize what’s happening until they are far along the abuse cycle. Like white bread growing mold, recognizing the effects of gaslighting takes time, it takes a lot of questions about one’s own ability and sanity, it’s sometimes unrecognizable until it’s too late.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment.
Gaslighting doesn’t always have to be intentional, often it’s not. It’s a learned way of manipulating…
A wise woman once told me that nonprofit organizations and their missions are “our government’s bandaid.” They’re not meant to eradicate problems and inequalities, they’re built to be a safety net so there is something being done to address the problem.
Governments know that nonprofits alone won’t work their way out of a job. For example, where I live in Austin, it’s unlikely that the number of organizations fighting homelessness will actually eradicate the problem without strong government support and policy. I would even argue it’s impossible.
Organizations are held to a standard to deliver on their mission. Whether it…
The week I found out I was pregnant, I drove to Target. As I was sitting in the parking lot with a cold brew coffee, I watched a mom unpack her car, struggling to carry an infant car carrier into the store alone.
That was the first time I thought about killing myself.
I thought about driving my car into a street lamp. I thought about walking across I35 in Austin during rush hour. I thought of several atrocities that would result in me having a miscarriage. …