The Parenting Village Exists, It’s Just Not Free Anymore

The truth about parenting in America

Mindy Morgan Avitia
3 min readOct 19, 2023
Photo by Gautam Arora on Unsplash

Childrearing in the United States is impossible.

If parents aren’t worried about childcare, we’re worried about gentle parenting, or what our kids are (or are not) eating. We’re worried about screen time, and red dye 40, and what size they’ll be in winter. We’re worried about tantrums and tummy aches, and have they really been fever-free for 24 hours?

Raising children is a full-time job. For many parents — myself included — a full-time job on top of another full-time job.

Some days it feels impossible and when I look around I wonder, where the fuck is that village we’re told it takes to raise a kid?

The ugly truth is that the village does exist—it’s just not free (anymore). This inevitably means parents earning less feel the gaping inequity even more. While our villages cost more than ever, all families are left to fend for themselves and “figure it out.”

Figuring it out can mean a mom leaving her career to focus on childcare. It can mean dad feeling the immense pressure to provide while grappling with higher expectations of fatherhood than his dad had. It can mean paying more than your mortgage or rent in childcare costs. It can mean eating more affordable…

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